always good to start with jokes

We're All Talk:

A social worker asks a collegue: "What time is it?" The other one answers: "Sorry, don't know, I have no watch." The first one: "Never mind! The main thing is that we talked about it."
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke32.htm

Wow- this poignant joke pretty much sums up what drives me crazy about this "task" that we so boldly call a profession, "social work". Is it really a profession or just a bunch of martyr-like people filling some void in their lives? We talk about shit, analyze this and that, but nothing ever happens. Sadly, personality types of social workers indicate they are introverts who are passive and like to avoid conflict at all costs- therefore enabling continued bullshit to happen all over the place. Moreover, many private practioners who make $150 an hour can't make a simple declarative statement.

Who are these so-called social workers?
More often than not, people get into the helping profession to solve their unresolved childhood issues and and benefit from recognition they never received. That's why we see our friends with therapist parents who are unable to deal with their family lives, but are booked with clients. That's why we have master's programs full of crying social work students whose teachers coddle them like patients rather than students. That's right kids, you know who you are. It's not appropriate to cry in graduate school about how you had panic attacks in 5th grade or how your dad sexually molested you in 3rd grade. You do that in your own therapy. You are the people who infiltrate the profession (making it a "non-profession"). Nothing against you (well, actually a lot against you) - but you don't express opinions and for the most part are completely consumed in the profession in order to fulfill some unfulfilled need for recognition. Where is your ability to assert a boundary between the personal and professional?

On the other side of things, people who are more effective get into social work to be altruistic. Altruistic means helping others and creates a chemical reaction in the brain that can be a high. I know this may be a new concept for some of you social workers, but it's okay to say, "I" get something out of it! These are the healthy reasons to get into social work according to the Resilient Practioner by Thomas Skovholt (http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/509320.Thomas_Skovholt ).

This is not to say that people who are in social work for the "healthy" reasons are always successful at separating their personal and professional identities. This is a challenge for everyone considering that we have to be unique to the profession, or bring something of ourselves to it, while at the same time remembering, this is a profession. Especially if you happen to be in a toxic agency (like me) that lacks boundaries.

We have no lives
Helping others. Sounds lovely doesn't it? A profession filled with altruism and helping at the expense of jokes like: A social worker is facing a mugger with a gun. "Your money or your life!" says the mugger. "I'm sorry," the social worker answers, "I am a social worker, so I have no money and no life. http://www.workjoke.com/projoke32.htm
This is true- look at how we are perceived! Our clients idolize us, friends are intimidated by us and people think we have all the answers, "you must be such a great person". I once knew a substance abuse counselor who went to a store, pick up a bottle of wine, and when she saw a client, she dove behind the potato chip aisle. She was so concerned about falling off the pedestal.

So, social work is not all about having a God complex and stealing babies or making moral judgments. It's about putting up with all the personal shit that goes along with this image. All the hiding, the image work we have to do. Being someone who likes to be myself, it makes it very difficult to uphold someone else's image of perfection or degradation (depending upon who is evaluating). Nonetheless, most people think that we have no problems, no weaknesses, no issues. Then why are we so fucked up? Or just as fucked up as everyone else and not supposed to show it! Which makes us more fucked up. I, on the other hand am proud to be fucked up dammit!

So my question is why not show it? Do people want to visit someone with no problems? Do they want to spill their guts to the inhuman, emotionally unavailable stoic reflective statue, or do they want someone to express an opinion, have a sense of humor and lighten things up a bit? Well, personally, I would want the latter.

Who should be on this blog and what to expect:
One comment about the nature of this blog- it will be uncivilized, completely unsocial-worky, non-humanitarian and totally judgmental. If you have a statement to make feel free to make it uncensored and feel free to be anonymous. Say if you're a social worker, if you're not or what you think of those who are. I would especially love to hear from those on the other side of the couch. How much do you love or hate those of us who have tried to be the "non-judgmental" helper. How much do you love or hate to know that we are not the perfect moralistic professionals that everyone thinks we are. At least, I'm not.

In fact, I'm writing this because no one that I have met in social work seems to share this judgmental and entirely human attitude, "yes, I have an opinion". My biggest issue with therapists is that while they might be good at “reflecting” what people say and being objective and non-emotional, there is a time and place for this and many therapists forget that. They tend to bring this attitude into every aspect of their lives, taking this responsibility upon themselves in their personal lives. In fact, many of them do not have substantial personal lives because they don't know that there is a difference in professional identity and personal identity. If social work is to be more effective in general, it's time that it's practitioners start to act more like professionals, rather than morally superior beings with no downfalls or people who will uphold the law and the moral code to their death and to the detriment of themselves and families ( you can hear the national anthem playing in the background). I digress.

The purpose of this blog:
Unlike many social workers I've encountered, I'm a real person. Well, I'm also a borderline social worker (one foot out the door). I have real thoughts and passion and an opinion! I consider myself to have good insight (into myself) and see the big picture situation, but certainly don't know everything. I have judgments, they are sometimes small minded prejudiced and stereotypical, I like to laugh, be honest and sometimes offensive .

The purpose of this blog (which will be made more clear as time goes on) is to provoke response from people. I want to hear controversy- arguments (ones like you see on Britney Spears commentaries). If you have nothing opinionated to say, don't say anything at all (unless you are offended and you hate me!).

I will be saying things like, "Yes, I do think you should dump your abusive boyfriend and no, I don't like you and here's why. Oh and yea, you should lose some weight because you have diabetes and you should take a shower!"

So, if anyone is offended by these type of comments, either go away or START A FIGHT! GO COMPLAIN TO SOMEONE! Don't hold back. Be human, passionate, get offended, challenge, react! Get pissed and talk about it! I will not apologize for anything that I write. If I can illicit emotional response from readers, be it positive or negative, that is my goal!

I have spent the last four years of my life editing not only my words by my responses to everything going on around me and feeling like all my natural instincts and responses are wrong. If I'm going to stay in social work, I need to be able to be normal. Not some freak of nature up on a pedestal who is "perfect" in everyone's sense of the word.

What does this bitch want?:
Right- so in other words, I'm relying on you- the voice of America - to tell me whether I'm just not cut out for this profession. Is anyone who wants to be healthy really cut out for social work as it stands? If I stay, I'm completely revamping the profession. I'll be the "bitchy" social worker and set up a practice called "One hit wonder". Inevitably, the goal is to minimize the bullshit and call it how I see it. Upfront, I will say that I will take no responsibility for whether the client follows my advice. Isn't this healthier for everyone involved? Continued suppression or holding back what you think has proven to be psychologically damaging (Lillian Glass, Toxic People)http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/580409.Toxic_People_10_Ways_Of_Dealing_With_People_Who_Make_Your_Life_Miserable.

I will be incorporating concepts presented in books that I'm reading (including Confessions of an Heiress). Basically, I'm a post graduate social worker. I got burnt out-beyond that. There's a huge attrition rate of people who do so in the first two years after grad school and we don't know why. There's little research. Aside from the fact that we have identified that most of the people who drop out tend to be very motivated, highly intelligent and inspired to make change. I myself would like to know what the hell happened to them! Talk to me!

Game on kids-
Until next time...
Also, feel free to propose topics that you might be interested in... E.G. Identity in social work, what's wrong with other social workers, agency issues, why do I have to pay $150 to hear myself talk... etc...